


Home Is With Him

by vaenire



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 5 Times, Angst, It's Ok Trust Me, Kissing, M/M, Stormpilot, also lowkey they are both injured at various points, but i mean it's very light angst and rather avoidable, character death sorta, concept of home, light kissing, very impermanent angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 15:03:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5590720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaenire/pseuds/vaenire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Poe and Finn met and what Poe noticed each time, and two (alternative) observations of Finn’s. </p><p> </p><p>~~~Warning: There are two ALTERNATIVE endings, one has a major character death and the other has major character kissing~~~</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Is With Him

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU'RE NOT ABOUT ANGST, THEN SKIP THE FIRST "+1" and go right to "+1 (2.0)"   
> otherwise, enjoy and don't forget to leave kudos and comments! :)

1

The first time they met, Poe noticed his eyes. Human eyes.

Only a moment before, he had been a mere shell of Poe Dameron. His muscles were lax and his mind unfocused, already accepting his inevitable death. Every extremity pounded, his pulse screaming at him; his own body was punishing him for his weakness.

He was being marched to his death. But then he was taken aside, his guard pulling his Stormtrooper helmet off and urgently asking, “Can you fly a TIE fighter?”

And there was such an urgency in his eyes. _Human eyes_.

“Are you Resistance?” Poe asked, but he felt that he already knew the answer. He could read it in those eyes. Those eyes that suddenly had the real Poe springing back from the precipice of death.  They were getting off this hellhole.

2

The second time they met he noticed Finn’s strong shoulders as he pulled him into a tight embrace. Finn was _alive_. They were _both_ alive and putting that together in his head nearly knocked the wind out of him. They _stole a TIE fighter_ , they _crashed on Jakku_ with the First Order on their heels, and now they were safe on the Resistance base. BB-8 was safe and this Stormtrooper he’d just met had made this all possible.

He had a lot to thank Finn for when they got the chance later.

3

Later came in the medical bay. Poe didn’t get a chance to stop by Finn’s bed very much the first week he was there. When Finn was still comatose midway into the second week, Poe made time. While his days were full of drills and training and strategic planning, his nights were totally open for Finn.

Although Finn wouldn’t be bothered by the lights, Poe left them off for the sake of others spending the night in the medical bay. Poe dragged a chair beside Finn’s bed and sat, watching the silhouette of the man’s face in the light of the machines, which whirred and beeped and created an ambient white noise.

Finn’s face looked so round and young in the blue light of the medical equipment, Poe noticed.

4

 _He’ll be awake when I get back_ , Poe had thought when he left on a sudden mission that came up. _He’s gotta be. It’s just my luck he’ll wake up when I’m gone._

His squadron was split mid-mission, and his group didn’t get back until late one night nearly a week after departure. He scanned peripheral areas of the hangar, wondering if Finn might be awake, might be waiting for him. He wasn’t in sight.

Poe half-frowned, slamming  the canopy of his x-wing shut. He put his helmet under his arm and went to the debriefing hall.

He was noticeably distracted all through the debriefing. He knew it was subtle but he could help but fidget, glancing toward the door.

“Captain Dameron, it seems something has preoccupied you,” General Organa noted as the debrief came to an end, catching Poe right as he headed toward the door.

“Um, yeah, I—“

She interrupted, “He’s awake.” Her eyes are warm and there’s the shadow of a smile at the way Poe must blanch—both at the fact that she _knew_ and that Finn was awake and he was still standing here. “He’s bed ridden for now.”

Poe ran to the medical bay.

Finn was sound asleep when he arrived, but the strong rhythm from heart monitors brought more joy to Poe than he could’ve imagined. He set his helmet—which he really should’ve dropped off at his locker—down by the chair and took a seat. This wasn’t superficially different from how he had sat by Finn’s bed every night since the destruction of the Star Killer, but it was. Poe knew better than to wake Finn up, but he was giddy with the thought that Finn could open his eyes at any moment. Finn’s eyelids twitched as if he were dreaming. Poe hoped it was peaceful.

Poe braced his crossed arms on the bed. Finn was snoring in tune with the monitor. Poe didn’t realize how tired he was.

He woke up with a soft hand gripping his, and when he startled, his neck aching dully, his eyes met the smiling soft brown eyes of Finn.

“Good morning,” Finn said with a grin. Poe wanted to scoff at his smug smile but he couldn’t; all he could muster was a matching grin.

Finn’s fingers were laced through his, palm to the back of his hand and his thumb smoothing circles around the knuckle of his pinky. His hands were calloused and singed. Poe squeezed his fingers and brought the back of Finn’s hand to his lips, completely thoughtless.

That wiped the grin off Finn’s face. Poe’s ears turned pink once he caught up with himself, and his eyes were glued Finn’s hand, still hovering on front of his face. He studied them closely, mortified by his actions and not ready to make eye contact with Finn. Despite their callouses and scars, they were soft and as gentle as Finn’s laugh. Finn tenderly extracted his hand from Poe’s, only to rearrange them so they were palm to palm, giving him leverage to pull Poe’s hand to his mouth for a short sweet kiss. Poe probably could’ve died right then.

5

Finn was only a few days into physical therapy when Poe was called away on another mission. He visited Finn’s quarters before he met up with his squadron to brief on the details.

He leaned against the doorframe and watched Finn finish up some light stretches on the ground, clad in only slacks and the bandage still holding his back together and sealed. Although Finn was facing him where he sat on the ground, he kept his eyes trained on his own hands.

“Another mission?” he asked as he pulled himself to his feet, rubbing his hands together.

Poe didn’t need to answer; he couldn’t answer, anyway. His tongue felt like lead. He felt guilty.

When the silence persisted Poe could see Finn’s jaw tense. Finn stuck his hand out, “Poe Dameron,” he said, almost dutifully.

 _Don’t do this, Finn_ , Poe thought, but took his hand and shook it. “Finn.”

Finn looked up at him then. And Poe froze. Those eyes pierced him, making him feel like a shell once more. His heartbeat was all he could perceive aside from the unhappy and fearful look in Finn’s eyes as he bit his lip.

How could he leave this man?

Poe didn’t know who instigated it, but suddenly Finn’s hand was carding through his hair and pulling him close and Poe’s hands were trying to grab at anything he could—Finn’s shoulders or hips or arms—until he finally just grabbed the lapels of Finn’s jacket and yanked him close.

The kiss was sloppy and Finn was completely unskilled (and it may have been a little painful, too, until Finn figured out how _not_ to clash their teeth) but it was earth shatteringly sincere. Poe wanted to just melt against Finn right there, never have to leave this shabby little room again. He was breathing embarrassingly shallowly for just a kiss, but he could help it nor the way his fingers jolted in his grip on the old leather jacket when Finn slid his tongue along his lip.  

 _Where the hell did Finn learn_ —Poe was gasping, and Finn was probably supporting most of his weight at this point. His knees were _weak_ and his stomach was _churning_ and this is plain unfair. Poe was supposed to be the older, more experienced one—he probably most certainly _was_ —but he was being completely useless. And he was about to set out on a mission. He couldn’t walk out to the briefing with a red face and weak knees.

“Finn,” he gasped when they parted. Finn’s hand slipped down from his hair to hold his jaw.

“Promise me you’re coming home.”

 _Home?_ That concept was lost to Poe over the years.

“Poe,” Finn brought him back, with that urgent look in his eyes again. It hit Poe like a star destroyer.

 _Finn is home_.

“Yes,” Poe breathed. “I promise I’m coming home.”

+1

He doesn’t.

Apparently, Poe Dameron was horrible at keeping promises.

All that could be recovered from the wreckage were a few wires attached to BB-8’s broken optical lense. Snap had pressed the broken fragment of machinery into Finn’s hand with somber eyes.

The scanty remainder of Poe’s squadron shuffled by the two, all avoiding Finn’s face as they went.

Finn stared at the fragment before peering back up at Snap’s face. The other man remained silent, a shadow of grief and sympathy crossing his face.

Finn wanted to shake his head and pretend he didn’t know what this meant. He wanted to scream, yell at Snap for doing this to him; he wanted to drop to the ground and never get back up.  As it is, he can’t tell if he’s breathing or not.

“I’m so sorry, Finn.” Snap hesitated before squeezing Finn’s shoulder, “He fought so well, but…”

Finn shook his head, “Please…” and his voice sounded foreign. The hand gripping the fragment of BB-8 was shaking. His shoulders were shaking, his breaths were shaking, he couldn’t stop.

“Let’s go inside and get warm, Finn,” Snap implored, trying to guide Finn toward the hangar door.

Finn couldn’t feel how cold it was and he didn’t care. “He promised,” Finn choked, and the feeling in his legs went. He was kneeling on the ground, hands on his face before he knew it and hot tears were suddenly chilling on his cheeks. “He promised.”

He shouldn’t have trusted Poe.

+1 (2.0)

He nearly doesn’t.

It was a tough escape, and Poe ended up strapped in the cramped space of another’s x-wing, his own being destroyed in a land ambush.

“That’s two Starfighters of yours destroyed in under a month, Dameron,” Organa had chided him at his bedside in the medical bay. He’d been ejected from his x-wing too close to the planet surface and his right shin completely shattered on impact. His wrist had been caught and twisted and dislocated, and there were bruises all down his spine and on his skull and ribs, but he grinned at her comment.

“Sorry General,” he said cheekily.

She chuckled, putting a hand on Finn’s shoulder where he sat in the bedside chair, both hands holding Poe’s good one. “Don’t break that hand too, Finn,” she said, and turned to leave before Finn could respond.

Poe turned his head to the side, smiling with half his mouth. Finn just stared back at him, as if Poe would disappear the moment he looked away.

“This is gonna be the death of me, isn’t it?” Finn asked suddenly.

Poe was caught off guard, “What do you mean?”

“This, you getting scrapped up on your various missions. This is going to be the usual from now on out for me, isn’t it?”

Poe gave him a long hard look before laughing softly. “If it’s not you in this bed it’s me, huh buddy?”

“I don’t know why you’re laughing.”

\--

When Poe was discharged, he went straight to Finn’s quarters on the far side of the base. He had a crutch under his left arm and a boot on his right leg, and he had to wave off helpful offers from nearly everyone he crossed.

When the door of Finn’s quarters whooshed open, Finn threw his legs off his bed and stood at attention.

“Whoa, buddy, it’s just me,” Poe grinned, shuffling inside so the door could snap closed behind him.

Finn just stared at him, glancing at the door behind him as if making sure they were really alone as he approached the doorway slowly. The look in his eye was something unfamiliar to Poe and he stepped back, shoulder bumping the door. Finn braced one of his arms against the door and cupped Poe’s jaw with the other, resting his forehead against Poe’s, closing his eyes and holding him close as if they hadn’t seen each other every day since Poe had returned.

“You scared me,” Finn said quietly.

“Sorry, I should’ve knocked,” Poe replied just as quietly, confused by Finn’s actions.

Finn scoffed, “No, I mean…”

“I know.” Poe put his hand not clutching the crutch, still with a brace from his dislocation, over Finn’s back.

They stood there, just breathing each other in for a long moment. Finn sighed.

“I think I need to add a clause to that promise you made me.”

Poe smiled, “What is that?”

“Promise me you’re coming home, _intact_ ,” Finn declared.

Poe beamed at Finn’s eager protectiveness.  Poe Dameron was absolutely a glutton for punishment and there was no way this would end well, but he beamed anyway.

“I promise I’m coming home intact, buddy.”  

Finn bit his lip and smiled brightly before pressing an urgent, yet delicate, kiss to his lips. A pleasant foreign feeling spread throughout Poe's limbs and he melted into the embrace.

For the first time in many, many years, Poe really was home.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to scream about finnpoe with me, catch me at tumblr as "vaenire"   
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
